Making complex decisions can be hard enough.
Then, having made your decision after much thought and analysis and soul searching, it can be particularly frustrating to find yourself doubting your decision when confronted by persuasive (even though they may be well-meaning) people.
This was the situation one person found herself in, repeatedly.
Initially, this client thought that she was unable to make difficult choices or complex decisions confidently.
However, during our conversation it became clear that this was not the problem. In fact, I found out that she made all her decisions with much thought and care.
Her challenge lay elsewhere.
As she put it, she felt herself losing confidence in her decision and herself, when confronted by persuasive people. Even when she knew intellectually that her decision was right for her, she allowed herself to get talked out of her decision.
This was frustrating for her, and often she’d get annoyed with herself for giving in.
So I asked her whether the real problem was her losing faith in herself.
Do you want to be able to hold your ground in these situations? Do you want to feel strong and confident, and not let self-doubt creep in and sway you?
She said yes, in fact that’s exactly what she wanted: to find strength within herself.
Since she wasn’t feeling particularly strong at that moment while she was describing her problem, I asked her to stand up and do the “Mountain Pose” for a minute.
By the way, if you’re not familiar with the Mountain Pose, here’s a link that provides more information: http://yogajournal.com/poses/492_1.cfm
At the end of that minute, I asked her how she felt.
She was amazed at how such a small thing could have such a big impact.
She went on to say that she felt grounded and strong. And in this state, she felt very confident about being able to hold her ground in any conversation.
I suggested to her that she make it a new habit, to do the “Mountain Pose” for a about a minute before going into conversations that could be challenging. And also do this during conversations, when she felt she was losing ground. (Don’t worry, this is a subtle pose — I wasn’t asking her to do a headstand in the middle of a conversation!)
Why does this work?
Because your mind and body are connected — or in even simpler terms, because your head is attached to the rest of your body!
When you feel physically grounded and strong, it affects how you experience and interact with the rest of the world.
Slouch in front of the mirror and tell your reflection, “I feel wonderful!”. Or stand up straight and tall in front of that mirror, and tell your reflection, “I feel dreadful!”
Try it — see what happens. And tell me what you find!
Srirupa Dasgupta is a certified Integral CoachSM and founder of Get Unstuck! (www.get-unstuck.com). Sri helps business professionals reduce feelings of stress, overwhelm and frustration from their lives, so they can be more productive, effective and successful. She is also the author and producer of the 4-part audio series, “Effortless Networking.”